No matter how strange we still feel about meeting someone through an online dating app, it’s time to flow and befriend with the virtual world if we wish to make it happen in real life.
I say befriend because it seems that many of the Tinder users in Ibiza still do not understand very well how it works, or which are the Do’s and don’ts that never fail. So, as a good servant of my readers, and sororizing with all the women on the island, I share a couple of tips with you to make your virtual adventure a success (and not a colossal disaster):
1. You have only 1 minute to conquer me
Everything speaks of you. Your photos, what you say and what you don’t say, too. I recommend that you take some time to write a few words about you, so on the other side of the screens, we can find useful information besides knowing how tall you are or where do you work, or nothing (which is, really, the worst). When being in Bali on vacation, I was surprised by the dedication of some descriptions. That’s the attitude, and I guess in many cities it’s like that. But in Ibiza, there is a long way to go. So do us all a favour and spend a few moments to tell us something that we will wish to continue talking in person.
2. There are plenty of fish in the Mediterranean, but only a few are creative
I know (because I saw it with my own eyes) that 120% of the profiles of men and women in Ibiza have: one photo on a yacht (or more), one photo diving, one photo with children or exotic animals in Africa, and one blurry selfie partying with a face that shows how much they are enjoying to be in altered states. Wrong! Show me what your passions are, a photo where you like yourself (yes, peacocks do it, and humans as well, let’s cut the hypocrisy), or something that makes me smile (sense of humour is my favourite aphrodisiac).
3. Be honest and don’t sell us a fraud
What’s the use of deceiving someone on the internet, if later when they see you entering the bar, all they will wish is to drown themselves inside the Gin & Tonic? It is important that you show your face, your eyes (most of us are attracted by the look), your smile… If you’re fatter than you were 10 years before, or now you have gray hair, or you lack an arm because a shark bit it off: we deserve to know. Take off your glasses and—in my opinion—don’t upload a picture in a Porsche if it’s not yours. Less is more.
4. Elegance—and hope—are the last thing to lose
If you have an incredible body and you want the world to know it, you do not need to share 5 close-up photos of your favourite parts (boring!). No doubt, it is even worse if you show explicit content. To seduce, try the opposite and leave a mystery to discover. And, if you like how you look in a picture but you’re hugging your ex, pixelating her or his face will not only make us feel more curious about who is that poor person with the banned face, but it actually will make you look like a loser who is not able to look normal or well enough in a photo and has no other choice than that. Be smart, be elegant, and be kind. This is how you conquer the world.
The rest, it’s up to you. I really want you to know that I’m not exaggerating, and I’ve seen things I don’t want to remember. In fact, we have a fabulous section in our Whatsapp chat with my friends where we share the winners of the worst profiles we see in Tinder, and we laugh to cry. Are we cruel? Probably. But do we have fun? Definitely. So, now you know. Invest a little time in improving your profile, and then tell me if my “Tinderella” tips had good results.
Come on, make it a match!
Also published on Medium.